In Memory of My Mommy

Yesterday was the 3rd anniversary of my mom's passing. I had a 1st grade field trip, and homework, piano lessons, dinner, spelling test review, etc. and didn't even think about it until yesterday evening. How do you forget the day your mom died? I remembered last week, but not yesterday. I really miss my mom. Our relationship was not a typical mom/daughter relationship, but there was genuine love there. She didn't know how to show it, and was very critical, but she was also very proud of me. She was the type of person that would give you the shirt off her back, and then crack jokes about how bad she looked without her shirt on! She was always making jokes and trying to make people feel at ease. She also really loved her grandkids, and gave up a lot to take care of my nephews. She got kind of a redemption through them, by having a second chance to raise kids in a better environment than she did with my sister and I.

I've attached some pics of my mom with all of my babies except Abraham. She had her stroke and got very sick when Abe was born. Abe's birthmom thinks she might have a picture of them together, and I really hope she does. I'm so sad to think Abe might not have even one momento of him and my mother. She was always quick to come as soon as we got our babies. She'd park it in a chair and hold them for hours (while barking out orders to the rest of us, so she didn't have to get up out of said chair). Ha, Ha! Good memories.

This is my mom with Elijah when he was born.

This is in the hospital room with Kiah, right after her birth. Muriel (Kiah's birthmom) told us to bring our family in. She was so amazing!

Here she is with our little tiny Sammi girl. These 2 has such a strong bond. Samara was a sick, anxiety ridden baby from day one. She was very refluxy and cried all the time. She wouldn't let us leave her with anyone after 4 months old. 4 months and she knew!! But she loved my mom. My mom was the only one who Sammy would let hold her for very long. They were quite a pair. My mom was loud, and sometimes odorous, and not very touchy-feely. Sammi was loud, very stinky, and cried all the time. But together, they were happy. Samara's middle name is Jacqueline, after her grandma Marsh. We had no idea how fitting that would be.

Ah, yes! I had to include this picture because it embodies who my mom was. She loved people who were bold and marched to their own drum. She also loved bad boys! She was in New Orleans (pre-Katrina) during Mardi Gras. She saw this group of punks hanging out. Any normal person would see the spikes and piercings and walk quickly down the sidewalk. My mom goes up to all of them, admires their piercings, flashes her 5 tatoos, and asks to take a photo with them! She rocks!!!! She was so in her element here.

Anyone who doesn't know my mom would think that I was kind of tough on her in this post. But, if there's one thing my mom didn't put up with, it was insincerity and fake praise. She liked to keep it real, and so do I. She would read this and know how much I loved her, for who she was. I miss having her around, and I get lonely for a mom sometimes, but I'm grateful for the gospel, that reassures me that there is a way to see her again. We are not sealed as a family, but I've done my mom's temple work, and I'm pretty confident that there will be a way to hug my mom again. And I'm happy to know that she is experiencing true, unconditional love from someplace much better than here. Her journey here was always a rough one. I'm glad she can rest from that, now.

Thanks for listening to me ramble. I just needed to talk about her to someone and you all got stuck on the reading end.