Tuesday, November 20, 2007

My Angel is the Devil!

(Disclaimer: I have tried putting in spaces and separating paragraphs and indenting the paragraphs, and everytime I hit "publish post" it goes back to one big long blob of a post. Harder to read, sorry!!)
Look at that face! Could he really be the devil, you may ask? Well, maybe not, but he sure likes to be naughty! My day today brought memories of a few months ago flooding back. The memorable day that has now become famous among friends and relatives alike, as well as strangers who've had my bad day emailed to them from my friends and relatives, for a good chuckle. I think I'll start with reminiscing about that day, which will make my day today seem much tamer in comparison: Poop smeared up and down the stairs to the basement, with poop smeared all over basement carpet and toys. Ashes from fire place all over him and the living room. Barbeque sauce all over him and the table and chairs (he snuck down at night and did this with the lights off). Syrup (Sam's club size) poured all over him, with a layer of hair sticking to that, and the kitchen and up and down the hallways and on the leather chair and ottoman.
I'm sure there was more, but I think I have blocked it, you know, PTSD?! This was all in one day! I was ready to go to the funny farm. After a few months of therapy and a lot of cleaning solution, he was doing so much better. I call this the Sunny period. He was fun and easy to take places, and listened pretty well.
Um....yeah, those days are gone. And, lately, he's been doing more sucking on his tongue and hiding his head under his blanket everywhere we go. He's been rubbing his face alot, and freaking completely out about germs. You can't kiss him, he has to kiss you on the cheek. He will melt down for an hour if you happen to take a drink out of his cup, or if he even suspects that you've touched something of his with saliva. Forget about the mom lick and swipe on his face!! So, I've been worried about him, as he seems to be regressing back into his sensory problems, and his speech is still significantly delayed, so that's another worry.
Anyway, because I've been worried about these things, I haven't been paying as much attention to sneaky behavior, until this week. Then I started taking note of how many poopy diapers have come off, how many things have been squeezed out (paint, toothpaste, medication, etc.), how many toilets have been clogged with various items, how much he's been sneaking out and hiding again. You get the picture. Well, today, I was on the phone for about a half hour. During that time, I was on the computer for this call, looking up maps, etc. I could hear him in the living room, so I wasn't worried about him sneaking out and wandering the neighborhood. Well, after I got off the phone, I walked into the kitchen and found every paper towel individually ripped off and strewn around the house in a distinct "choo choo" pattern. As I followed the "train tracks" I found that he had dumped a huge bag of rice all over the whole living room; in furniture, on the tv stand in every spot on the floor, all over the piles of laundry I just folded (and I mean in every crease). That was frustrating, but no big, since I can at least vacum that up, right? Then I saw the heater vent pulled up. Inside the heater were small books, a sandwhich, our whole jar of money that we pay the kids to do odd jobs was dumped in, dollars, and change alike. The jar itself and the lid were way back down in, as well as crayons, small McDonald's toys, etc. It was crammed full!!! This was after 4 diapers stripped off that I put back on him while I was on the phone in the other room.
Really, compared to other days, it's not too bad, but when there are 5 little naughty things going on in the span of 45 minutes, it makes me want to pull my hair out! His favorite new trick is to stick his fingers in his diaper and pull out a chocolate-like hand and chase me with it. Fun, no? You can't help but love the kid, even though strangling sounds pretty enticing at times, too. He's always really good, after some little devious trick of his, to tell me, "No, mommy, naughty!" Glad he knows that. That's the first step, right? (And knowing is half the battle...yo, Joe!)
Anyway, I love my boy! We saw our leaves falling off of our red maple, so we gave it a good shake and played in the fall "rain" of red leaves. So fun! They love to climb that tree (evidenced by al the broken branches at the bottom of it). This picture embodied his beautiful, fun-loving smile. He's a keeper.

Friday, November 16, 2007

In Memory of My Mommy


Yesterday was the 3rd anniversary of my mom's passing. I had a 1st grade field trip, and homework, piano lessons, dinner, spelling test review, etc. and didn't even think about it until yesterday evening. How do you forget the day your mom died? I remembered last week, but not yesterday. I really miss my mom. Our relationship was not a typical mom/daughter relationship, but there was genuine love there. She didn't know how to show it, and was very critical, but she was also very proud of me. She was the type of person that would give you the shirt off her back, and then crack jokes about how bad she looked without her shirt on! She was always making jokes and trying to make people feel at ease. She also really loved her grandkids, and gave up a lot to take care of my nephews. She got kind of a redemption through them, by having a second chance to raise kids in a better environment than she did with my sister and I.

I've attached some pics of my mom with all of my babies except Abraham. She had her stroke and got very sick when Abe was born. Abe's birthmom thinks she might have a picture of them together, and I really hope she does. I'm so sad to think Abe might not have even one momento of him and my mother. She was always quick to come as soon as we got our babies. She'd park it in a chair and hold them for hours (while barking out orders to the rest of us, so she didn't have to get up out of said chair). Ha, Ha! Good memories.



This is my mom with Elijah when he was born.



This is in the hospital room with Kiah, right after her birth. Muriel (Kiah's birthmom) told us to bring our family in. She was so amazing!

Here she is with our little tiny Sammi girl. These 2 has such a strong bond. Samara was a sick, anxiety ridden baby from day one. She was very refluxy and cried all the time. She wouldn't let us leave her with anyone after 4 months old. 4 months and she knew!! But she loved my mom. My mom was the only one who Sammy would let hold her for very long. They were quite a pair. My mom was loud, and sometimes odorous, and not very touchy-feely. Sammi was loud, very stinky, and cried all the time. But together, they were happy. Samara's middle name is Jacqueline, after her grandma Marsh. We had no idea how fitting that would be.


Ah, yes! I had to include this picture because it embodies who my mom was. She loved people who were bold and marched to their own drum. She also loved bad boys! She was in New Orleans (pre-Katrina) during Mardi Gras. She saw this group of punks hanging out. Any normal person would see the spikes and piercings and walk quickly down the sidewalk. My mom goes up to all of them, admires their piercings, flashes her 5 tatoos, and asks to take a photo with them! She rocks!!!! She was so in her element here.


Anyone who doesn't know my mom would think that I was kind of tough on her in this post. But, if there's one thing my mom didn't put up with, it was insincerity and fake praise. She liked to keep it real, and so do I. She would read this and know how much I loved her, for who she was. I miss having her around, and I get lonely for a mom sometimes, but I'm grateful for the gospel, that reassures me that there is a way to see her again. We are not sealed as a family, but I've done my mom's temple work, and I'm pretty confident that there will be a way to hug my mom again. And I'm happy to know that she is experiencing true, unconditional love from someplace much better than here. Her journey here was always a rough one. I'm glad she can rest from that, now.


Thanks for listening to me ramble. I just needed to talk about her to someone and you all got stuck on the reading end.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Celebrate National Adoption Month


The Following is an article that a friend sent me and I thought it was worth posting. Adoption changes lives and is so much a part of who I am. I thought that this statement from the leaders of my church was cool (the First Presidency is our prophet and his counselors):


FIRST PRESIDENCY ENDORSES NATIONAL ADOPTION MONTH
November is National Adoption Month, and members of the First Presidency have thrust their support behind the government’s efforts to raise awareness of the need for more parents to adopt.
“We endorse this proclamation [of November as National Adoption Month] and express our support of unwed parents who place their children for adoption in stable homes with a mother and a father,” the First Presidency stated. “We also express our support of the married mothers and fathers who adopt these children.”
The First Presidency’s statement follows years and years of the tradition of celebrating adoption, both inside and outside the Church.
National Adoption Month, which began in 1976, was originally only celebrated for a week. It was initiated on a state level by the governor of Massachusetts. But, when President Gerald Ford caught wind of the idea, he implemented it as a national celebration that same year. In 1990, it was changed from a week to a month-long celebration.
The goal of this month is to celebrate the family, raise awareness of the thousands of children waiting for adoption, and express gratitude to the many parents who have taken foster children into their homes.
“Families who adopt show the generous spirit of our Nation,” President George W. Bush stated in a proclamation announcing adoption month. “Every child desires a permanent home, and when parents adopt a child to love as their own, lives are changed forever.”
Within National Adoption Month, there is a specific, momentous day, National Adoption Day, which will be held this Saturday. On this day, special efforts are made by the courts, judges, attorneys, adoption professionals, and child welfare agencies in all 50 states to finalize adoptions for thousands of children.
The Church’s support derives from its stance on the sanctity of life, and it has done everything in its power to provide adoption services to solidify that belief. In 1919, the Church started LDS Family Services to do just that.
LDS Family Services offers help for both birth parents and adopting parents. It provides information about services, experiences of other birth parents, and agency commercials to offer courage and hope to those making the difficult decision of whether to place their child for adoption.
Regardless of who is promoting adoption, the Church is there to offer their support for the sanctity of life and the importance of the family.
“Children are entitled to the blessing of being reared in a stable family environment where father and mother honor marital vows,” the First Presidency stated. “Having a secure, nurturing, and consistent relationship with both a father and a mother is essential to a child’s well-being. When choosing adoption, unwed parents grant their children this most important blessing. Adoption is an unselfish, loving decision that blesses the child, birth parents, and adoptive parents in this life and throughout the eternities. We commend all those who strengthen children and families by promoting adoption.”

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Goldilocks lost her locks!



Before (without straightening or anything)






The back view of before
After the CHOP!

The hair stand alone. (10 inches)



The final product! Woo Hoo!

I did it! I chopped off my hair that I've been growing out for 3 years. Wow! It feels great. We have a neighbor that we love who is going through the turmoil of breast cancer treatments right now, and she got me thinking of how I could help besides bringing flowers or offering to cook. I thought this might be a nice way to honor her and show my support to breast cancer patients. Oprah Winfrey did a big show about hair, and the group that she worked with that makes wigs for cancer patients is called Pantene Beautiful Lengths. So, that's who I'm sending my hair to. I admit I was a little nervous about cutting, but having a good cause behind it made the cut easier. I have documented my adventure for you to see.

*Note to all: I had not done my make-up, and my hair was just air-dried from the shower, since it had to be au-natual to donate, which meant no products or styling. I don't normally look like a hippy!

Monday, November 12, 2007

The Lover, The Dreamers.....

So, every once in a while you catch someone in a random act of squishy goodness, and you can't help but take a picture. I have a husband who is the envy of all my friends when it comes to his "Daddy Skillz". He comes home and plays with the kids, even when he's beat after a long shift at the hospital. He watches them and any spare kid who may come over anytime I have church or other functions to attend, and he does what they love to do. Wrestle, jump, shoot their swings to the moon, fingerpaint (this was a new one this week that he's not likely to repeat), scrapbook cards for mom, anything. I am so grateful for his love for our kids.

The other day I was doing the dishes and peaked out the window and saw him, Samara, Kiah and Elijah laying on the tramp with blankets, looking at the sky, picking out different cloud shapes. Now, he's in the middle of residency, with a to-do list longer than the Great Wall of China, and he was out there finding hippos on motorcycles in the sky. That is why I love him.

Grandma Whitear's Halloween Fun

Grandma Whitear (grandma by proxy) has always done AMAZING Halloween parties, ever since I was a kid. She goes all out, dresses in character, makes up things to do in her cooky lab, does a cake walk with scary cakes, etc. It's one of the highlights of the year. Since we've moved to Indiana, she has continued to bless our family with her fun Halloween cheer. She sends a package every year full of fun stuff. This year the kids got T-shirts, Funky glasses, playdough, lipgloss, and plenty of candy. She also sends packages at Easter. I don't know how she does it, but she's incredible. Thank you, Betty!!!! Here are some pics of the kids with their packaged goodies.
Elijah, Kiah, Samara, Abraham

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Christmas in Alabama Part 2

So, I talked to Grandma Looney today!!! (see previous post) I have to share what she said. She wasn't home when I called to talk to her about us coming, and I didn't say anything on the message I left about bringing some "extra $$$ Cheer" with us. Well, I called her today, and she told me that things had been going very rough for their family, and they have a court date coming up that will hopefully give them full custody so that the Mother of the children cannot keep coming and going and messing with and lying to the children. Anyway, she was feeling down, but she woke up yesterday with a distinct happy feeling, specifically about Christmas. She couldn't imagine why this would be a good Christmas, but she felt something very strong. So much so that when she got to work, she shared that impression with her boss. Well, it was about a half-hour later that she listened to my message that we wanted to come there for Christmas. She said she ran to her boss's office to tell her about it and they were both in tears that we would come and let them meet Samara. She really felt like it was inspiration. She still doesn't even know that we will be bringing her donations. She said that after she found out we were coming, she was going to keep it a secret from the kids, and use it as a pick-me-up, after the court date. She knows how much they all want to meet Samara, and our whole family.

It's so fun to hear this! Because we have been feeling the same way. We were supposed to go to Pennsylvania, but once we got this idea in our head, there was such an exciting feeling associated with the journey. I really believe that this is God's plan for our family and for theirs this Christmas.

Anywhooo, thanks for your support. This will be the best surprise ever!

Christmas in Alabama


Below is a letter we sent out to friends and family hoping to get others to join in our Christmas fun. We are so full of gratitude at the response that we have gotten. Read below to see what us Hoffman's are doing for Christmas. I figured I'd better put this in here, so when I give updates, people will know what I'm talking about.

Dear Friends and Family-

Christmas will soon be upon us, and as every year, the Spirit of Christ’s love and light touches our hearts even deeper to help those in need. Our family has felt impressed to take on a fun project, and James and I would like to ask that as you are considering what charities, or families, etc. to choose as your family project, that you might consider helping the Killings Family.

This is the birth family of Samara (our 2nd daughter). There are 8 children, and they have all been placed with their single grandmother. Their mother has been responsible for neglect, abuse, drug use, abandonment, and many other saddening things in these children’s lives. The kids have been placed with their father’s mother. They have really been struggling, as has the grandmother, Delores Looney. This woman has such a strong sense of family and has never even questioned taking all of the children, because it would be unthinkable to her to split them up. She is in her 60’s and she works very long hours to try to make ends meet for these kids, and she does it all on her own, and in her small home. She is single, and could really use a morale boost. She is a proud, amazing woman that we have had the privilege to come to know by phone and letters, and she has even reached out to Samara and sent her little packages and cards to make sure that Sammi knows that she cares for her. All of my kids call her Grandma Looney, and she is fantastic.

This is our last Christmas here in the Midwest, and as of yet, we have not had the opportunity to meet Samara’s birth siblings and family. We are hoping to gather some donations for the family and drive to see them over James Christmas vacation time. Grandma Looney has expressed many times her desire to see Samara, and we think this is our chance to make that happen.

If you would like to be involved in this project, just send me an email. We will keep in touch as the time gets closer, and give a full report of our Christmas trip after. The kids range from 17 down to 7 ½. There is also a new baby, from the birthfather that comes to stay with them occasionally. I think realistically, money donations would be ideal, as the grandmother would know their needs much better than we would. We would get to Alabama a few days before Christmas, and that would give us time to shop with Delores.

Don’t feel guilty if you have other projects this year, it’s just an idea we had that we got excited about, but knew that 8 kids was out of our league financially. Thanks, and Merry Christmas.

Love,

The Hoffman Family

Thursday, November 01, 2007

Happy Halloween!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!
It was the night before Halloween and James had been out of town and on call for a week. My kids hadn't seen him for 7 days. So, after the Trunk-or-treat, we headed over to the hospital to visit dad (and elicit some giggles from the many hospitals workers and patrons there). It is so good to have him home again. Yes, that is my old wolf cosutme, still in working order. In fact, I've been to all 3 of their school classes in said get up to read and act our wolf stories. (eye roll) The things we do for our kids!
(L-R Abe as Hook, Kiah as James, Eli as a scurvy matey, and Sam as Belle)
Aarggg! As Abey likes to say, over and over again.... The kids were cute as ever as the week of Halloween (I swear it really lasts that long) came to a close last night. We had a Halloween party on Monday, a Trunk-or-Treat on Tuesday, and the actual event last night. You know it's bad when even mommy doesn't want any more chocolate! :)
OK, we all know that Kiah idolizes her dad (obvs). Apparently she's got her sights set high for her future, as well. There was no question that she would be a doctor this year, and yesterday at the breakfast table she asked if they make really small business suits. I asked her why and she replied, "Because next year I want to be a high-class business woman". Alrighty, then!